The Jester (2023)

 

Two Sisters Emma and Jocelyn, reunite in a small Baltimore town after their father's death. On Halloween night, they’re stalked by a sinister figure known as The Jester..It has to be said this flew well below my radar, even The Guardian reviewed it, so when a sequel popped up and a mate gave it a thumbs up I'd thought I'd dive in at the beginning. Sadly what we have here is a very weak ass Art The Clown (Terrifier) flick, the villain wears a mask (it's good, but compared to the superb makeup for Art it's Poundland) The horror is weak, as is the plot, much of the acting and dialogue, and what gore there is, is cheap, plus the pacing of the whole movie is at time's laborious, with a Hallmark channel cheesiness.

2/5

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (2025)

 

Now I've seen the 1992 original, so being over 30 years ago, I can't remember much about it, only it involved a nutcase Babysitter (Rebecca De Mornay) and that's about it, no reason for a rewatch. So the prospect of a remake all these years later didn't really excite me that much, but reading some good early reviews, I thought on a miserable wet day, I'd give a go. Well it must be said it's pretty good in all fairness, Maika Munroe and Mary Elizabeth Winstead are both excellent as the 'leads', it's a good solid story with a very interesting twist, quality production values etc throughout. My only niggle is the cliched  'Fatal Attraction' finale, and the fact that certain characters turn into human Terminators no matter what injuries they sustain (broken bottle in the stomach anyone?), but all in all, it's definitely an easy to watch, slightly bad ass, thriller.

4/5

A House on Bayou (2021)

 

A Woman discovers her Husband has been cheating on her, rather than end the Marriage, she is 'happy' with the comfortable life she has enjoyed, and decide they, with their Teen daughter, should go on a weekend vacation to a mansion in the middle of nowhere!

On arriving the the owners of the local store turn out to be..well slightly dodgy rednecks, then things get really weird. With a nice slim 88 minute running time this is a very enjoyable curioso, who are the rednecks, do they want to rob them, then half way through there's a real 'supernatural' twist, well worth a watch, with a strange creepy finale.

4/5

Screamboat (2025)

 

It's what we've all been waiting for, a Mickey Mouse horror flick, or should I say Steam (scream) boat Willy! Is it worth a watch, humm...it's a hard slog even for me being a "so bad it's good" horror movie fan, this is generally just bad. The villain is a quite ridiculous cross between a Rat, Leprechaun and an Ewok. The characters (bar a few) and dialogue are pretty awful, a prime example being..

"Who you calling asshole, dicknose?"

"Hey fuck you!"

"Fuck me?

"Fuck all three of you!"

Things do pick up a little when the majority of the cast are killed off, including the most excruciatingly  annoying women on a birthday trip (on the Statten Island Ferry?!) There's an amusing kill involving a tv set and a severed penis, but it really needed a good 20 minutes trimmed off it's 1hr 40minutes bloated running time.

2/5

Scarred Shitless (2025)

 

"Sometimes...shit happens"

Any horror flick that dares to call itself "Scared Shitless" deserves a watch and with a slim running time of 1hr 15m why not.

When a 'genetically modified' creature escapes into the plumbing system of an apartment building it reeks havoc attacking the residents minding their own business having a 'Brad Pitt'

Utterly ridiculous, but with likeable characters, decent practical effects and a nice 80/90's low budget horror tone and with it's tongue firmly in it's (ass) cheek,  its well worth your time.

3.5/5

Psycho Goreman (2020)

 

Released in 2020 this was one of my favourite movies released that year I was well up for a rewatch during my annual Shocktober fest and it's lost none of its, um, charm! A great blend of over the top violenceand dark humour, lead Nita-Josee  is a delight as the Goremans 'owner'. The violence is pure comic book, Psycho Goremans practical effects are fantastic, one of the great movie monsters in recent years, it's blood soaked, mad and yes, psychotic, and it makes you root for the cosmic warlord.

4.5/5

The Wretched (2019)

 

I'm not a great fan of the folklore horror genre but this is a cut above, a child is haunted by a sinister Witch (as opposed to the nice friendly ones)
and starts to blur what is real and imaginary. Eerie, creepy and haunting from start to finish, it's a quality horror flick well worth seeking out with some great nasty practical (I think) effects.

 *It was listed as available on Netflix  but I think that it might be only on the US site, because the Atlantic Ocean in between us makes it not possible to be available here for f***s sake

4/5

No One Lives (2025)

 A bunch of rednecks mess with the wrong couple, especially as one of them "Driver" (the excellent Luke Evans) is an absolute batshit crazy psycho!

Grim, gripping with brutal violence, one scene in particular was highlighted on a Youtube channel as one of the great recent  horror death scenes, and boy is it fun, not that you see it....hearing what you know is happening is enough.

Strong performances all round, great pacing,  great late night revenge horror...oh and the final piece of dialogue in the movie..."NO ONE LIVES!"

4/5

The Surrender (2025)

 

A woman Barbera is caring for her sick  Husband who eventually dies from Cancer, takes the unhinged idea to resurrect him, forgoing  all her's, and her daughters inheritance, to bring him back to life in an almost satanic ritual...it doesn't go well. The finale is grim to say the least, and this is another tough watch. Kate Burton as the grieving, slightly (to say the least) unhinged widow, is excellent, reminding me of the great horror actress Lin Shay. As is, this is a tough watch, and anything but "popcorn" horror for the masses.

4/5

V/H/S Beyond (2024)

 

The V/H/S series have always been a bit hit and miss, and this one is no exception. The trouble is the average ones are those that seem to throw you into a story, build it up, then just run out of any idea how to successfully conclude it ,the Indian actress episode being a prime case. Then, on the plus points, are the ones that work, the Skydive episode  is well shot, great creatures, super creepy, as is the mental Doggy Day Care Centre piece, the lead a dead ringer for Kathy Bates character in 'Misery' with a crack pot ending. All in all well worth a look but I'm still waiting for a return to the first V/H/S which was all killer no filler.

3.5/5

Good Boy (2025)

 

You don't often get Dogs in horror films, I mean they're Man's best friend, and the last one featuring a pooch I can remember was the criminally under-rated "Cujo", but this is is far different beast (no pun intended).

In Good Boy a loyal dog owner, who is obviously  unwell, moves to a rural family home only to discover "supernatural forces" are present in the home. A real Pooch performer adds a raw sad authenticity to the film, the Dog almost acting through it's worried eyes, with reactions to sounds around the house. Dialogue is minimal throughout, mainly slightly muffled conversations which hype up the tension and growing dread. The Dogs 'Indy' (his real life name) presence is both endearing and unsettling, a hugely original release..and the Dog really is a good boy and utterly adorable.

4/5

Strange Harvest (2025)

 

Strange Harvest is a crime mockumentary that follows the investigation into a serial killer nicknamed "Mr Shiny". The film is so well shot you would believe it to an actual documentary, the give away being shown the actual atrocities the killer commits, grim, brutal and ritualistic. Intercut with Police body-cam footage, interviews with witnesses and the Police this is a quality piece of film, my only criticism being the slightly X-Files final act which I could have done without, but other than that, if you can find it, well worth a watch. (it's listed on US Amazon Prime but not UK, what a surprise)

4/5