The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane (1976)

 

This is a film I'd never heard of until I stumbled across a You tube channel recommending 70's horror flicks you need to see but, might never of heard of. Now this isn't horror, in the horror "sense", but real life horror. A young girl lives with her Father, but her secretive nature catches the attention of the conservative neighbours. First things first, Jody Foster is just 13 years old in this movie and her performance is nothing less than astonishing. I remember  seeing her in 'Paper Moon' with another incredible performance, but this is almost another level. The whole supporting cast are top level, but a special mention to  Martin Sheen who is just awesome, the most seedy MF borderline pedo you can imagine. The final scene of Jody's character as Ryan will burn into your soul as she stares at the camera with no emotion which seems to never end, so much so, I had to turn it off. A masterpiece of film making.

4.5/5

High Tension (AKA Switchblade Romance) (2003)

Strap your selves in for this French( yes I said French!) high octane, stalk and slash flick which never skimps on the blood, by the end of the film what's remaining of the cast resemble those mad Spaniards who partake in that annual tomato throwing event! The plot is your average horror flick, young women stalked by homicidal maniac, but the film is classily shot, creepy, scary and as pointed out lovely and gory with throats and limbs slashed and a tasty decapitate. (always a plus point in any movie!)The film has a pretty smart twist at the end which I thought worked, though the popcorn crowd seem to treat it with disdain as it involves some thought.

This was one of Director Alexandre Aja's first movies and he went on to make some cool genre movies, 'Crawl', 'Horns', the 'Hills Have Eyes' entertaining remake and of course the ultimate in exploitation comedy horror ', who can forget, Piranha 3-D' !!!!

4.5/5

Grotesque (2009)

 An unnamed Doctor kidnaps a young couple and tortures them both physically and sexually for his own twisted pleasure, there, that's the plot, well, what else is there to say?

Well for starters this sicko Japanese torture porn flick makes one of the Saw or Hostile films look very tame, eye gouging, disembowelment, genital mutilation, amputation by chainsaw, this is serious hardcore horror only for those with the strongest stomachs and is quite unrelenting.
After release  the film was deemed so sadistic that is was point blank refused a certificate by the BBFC stating "given the unacceptable content featured throughout cutting the work is not a viable option in this case and the work is therefore refused a classification" Fast forward to 2026 and it's readily available uncut on blu-ray!

Sick and twisted it is still a well directed film with a suitable grim ending, approach with caution folks!

3.5/5

Bad Milo (2013)

 An everyday tale of an office worker Duncan (Ken Marino) who lives with a demonic creature up his rear end which reeks vengeance on those who have angered him....

Firmly with it's tongue in it's (ass) cheek, 'Bad Milo' comes from the same stable as 'legendary' 80's shlock horror monster movies such as 'Terrorvision'. 'The Deadly Spawn' and of course Frank Henenlotter's classic 'Basketcase'.
The plot is pure madness, the monster, cheap, runner and ridiculous, the blood is spayed in bucket loads, and the film finishes with the towns folk hunting down the monster whilst carrying burning torches (ala Karloff's Frankenstein)
Utter rubbish, loved it.

4/5

**COMING SOON** Ice Cream Man (2026) 1st Teaser Trailer!

 This one I've been really looking forward to since it was announced, the premise? A Town descends into madness when an Ice Cream Man serves "sweet delights" with horrifying results.... What really wet my whistle is the fact that it's directed by Eli Roth, who brought us the brilliant 'Eli Roth's History Of Horror' a few years ago, an essential documentary series for fans of the genre, but of course he's also brought us such delights as the 'Cabin Fever' movies, as well as 'Hostel', 'The Green Inferno', the under-rated 'Death Wish' remake from 2018 and more recently the awesome slasher 'Thanksgiving'. I'm Sold!

UK release date is penned in for 29/10/26 Halloween!!!

Traumatika (2024)

A young boy's nightmares become reality when his parents show signs of a demonic possession.

This has got some good reviews, some saying it's one of the most disturbing films in recent years, so my hopes were high, yes it's good, but...In all fairness it's nothing I haven't seen before. It's well made, well shot, creepy, the 'demon' when it briefly appears is pretty awesome, but I was never that gripped, I can't really explain why. It's at times brutal and quite nasty with quite a cool, unexpected finale, with the killer wearing an early Jason style mask (and baseball cap to boot!) so, worth a watch, but a one watch movie for sure.

3.5/5

Ready Or Not 2: Here I Come (2026)

 

Following on from the original, moments after surviving an all out attack from the unhinged De Nomas family, Grace (the excellent Samara Weaving) discovers she has to survive the next level of the nightmarish game, this time with the help of her estranged Sister Faith (Kathryn Newton) so how does this sequel compare to the cult classic original? Oh boy it does. The violence kicks off almost immediately, the movie is an orgy of comic book kills, talk about a blood soaked 110 minutes, it barely pauses for breath. Weaving and Newton are fabulous, constantly bitching at each other, the black comedy tones just ramp up the entertainment throughout. Critics said it was a bit of a cash in on the success of the first movie, rubbish, this more than holds it own, and to finish the film on one of many highs, we the appearance of a cute Goat!

4.5/5

**COMING SOON** Faces Of Death (2026)

 

Now when this was announced late last year it really was a what the f**k moment, why would you make a film about a notorious video nasty documentary from the late 70's? The film was just a collection of real life murder/death scenes, stuff all more readily available with the internet, so what are earth would this be for? Well early reviews are hugely positive, it's a total reimagining of the original, this time a woman is a video content moderator and believes that some murder scenes she is viewing are real and have been influenced by the original seedy documentary. Looking at  'Rotten Tomatoes'  it's getting a very healthy 69%, "an impressively nasty piece of work", "a halfway clever retro slasher", "the most smartest horror movie of the year so far", are just some of the good reviews, and it also bolsters a very healthy 68% from the general public, bring it on!!

*sadly no release date penciled in for the UK at this moment in time, so I'll be, ahem, "looking else where" cough*

Thrash (2026) Netflix

 

I "pre-reviewed" this about a month ago, but with some hope, the director, Tommy Wirkola, was responsible for the quality 'Violent Night' and 'Dead Snow', but with some trepidation, it's made by Netflix. The plot is an absolute rip off of the awesome Alligator flick 'Bait' a few years back, a violent storm rips through a small town where upon an Alligator goes on a killing spree, well this is the same premise but with sharks, and oh dear, the result is grade B movie making. A slow turgid first hour, the CGI for the storm in all fairness is very, very good, but the shark effects at times are pretty embarrassing, the acting poor, characters really quite annoying, especially the pregnant woman who you  just hope gets munched to shut her up. The final third things do pick up a little, but by then I'd gone past caring, it does include the un-intentional hilarious line when someone exclaims "we need something that runs on batteries....and vibrates!!!" though!

2/5

Dredd (2012)

 Now I've never been a huge fan of 2000 AD but Judge Dredd....well what a creation, Cop...Judge and Jury..Executioner!

Back in the 90's Sly Stallone was cast in the first ever celluloid outing of this classic comic book character, the reviews were terrible, I refused to watch it on principle, and still have to this day, he shows his face for fucks sake...sacrilege. But, 17 years later (17 years!!) we finally got what we have been waiting for, Dredd (the superb Karl Urban) is a Human 'RoboCop' dishing out Justice and  punishment, helmet firmly planted on his head, gun blasting bad guys head, cheek bones and limbs off, top notch ultra violence!

His Rookie side kick Anderson (Olivia Firlby) is faultless, a solid no nonsense character who adds so much to Dredds almost robotic, expressionless Policing, adding some kind of humanity to the madness of Mega City 1.

A stark, bleak nihilistic adult, intelligent comic book film ( quite reminiscent of the classic 'District 9') with some top notch ultra violence, including the best scene involving 'we will kill you at any cost' one sided machine gun assault!!!!!

4.5/5

We Bury The Dead (2024)

 

Now I love a zombie apocalypse movie so this was on my radar straight way, slow burner, all out gore, comedy , any movie in the Zombie genre I'm up for it. This ones a post Zombie post apocalypse survival flick, Daisy Riley stars as Ava who is searching for her husband after a catastrophic accident involving a weapon of mass destruction, yes the US are accountable, Trump though has a few years or months to fulfill that dream, little bit of politics there! This is a slow burn thoughtful flick, very much in the vein of the last two '28 Years Later' movies, Daisy Ridley is excellent throughout, she's pretty much in every frame of the movie, the Zombies look great, gnarly, bloody, nasty, and when the violence erupts it doesn't hold back. Well worth a watch.

4/5

Jan-March 2026 stinkers!!!

 Well I've done my best of the first quarter so far, so without further ado, here's the stinkers. This time though I have included films not released this year or the latter part of 2025 as there was only a few new stinkers that stunk my front room out, so, enough of this flim flam, let's get to the list!

1. 'Grizzly Night' (2026) -you expect a Grizzly Bear causing chaos, nope, zilch.

2. 'London Boulevard' (2010)- what a waste of a great cast.

3. 'Raw Justice' (1994)- not even Pamela can save this dog turd.

4. 'The Dive' (2023)-Absolute dirge fest.

5. 'Dolly' (2026)- this film's getting some love, why? it's cheap pathetic film-making that thinks it's a homage to the 70's grindhouse "classics" such as 'The Hills Have Eyes' etc..

**MOVIES OF THE YEAR PART 1** Jan-March 2026

 

Well we're a third of the way into another new year, so here's my pick of the new movies so far in the past 12 weeks, some were released in the later part of of 2025, but I've included them as well, some I'm still to watch such as 'Ready Or Not 2' and 'You Will Die Tonight", but enough of this piffle, here's my Top 10 so far.

1. 'Send Help' (just a great gory giggle from the master Sam Raimi)

2. 'I Swear' (the feel good movie of any year)

3. 'Wasteman' (hugely ignored great Brit flick)

4. 'Primate' (mad monkey madness!)

5. 'Cold Storage' (old school monster comedy/horror)

6. 'Crime 101' (class thriller)

7. 'Hoppers' (back to their best Pixar release)

8. 'The Plague' (brutal coming of age drama)

9. 'Mike & Nick &Nick & Alice' (just a mad fun goofy movie)

10.'28 Years Later: The Bone Temple' ( the IRON MAIDEN moment!)

I Swear (2025)

 

Everything you have heard or read about this film is as you would hope. Based on the true story of Scottish teenager John Davidson's struggles with Tourette's Syndrome. Robert Aramayo is inspirational in his performance portraying determination, grit and quiet grace, whilst battling something he can't explain and people chastise him for. Yes you will laugh at, shall we say, "inopportune moments", but John's warm character just makes you root for the young man even more. It's a cliche, but it really is the feel good film of the year, culminating when John receives an MBE from The Queen in 2019

4.5/5

Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere (2025)

 

'Deliver Me From Nowhere' chronicles Bruce Springsteen's struggles with depression and his insistence on releasing the "Nebraska" album, a stark bare bones acoustic album recorded on a four track in his bedroom. Jeremy Allen White is excellent as Springsteen, as is Jeremy Strong as his manager, the legendary Jon Landau. Throw in Stephen Graham as Bruce's father and you get quality throughout, this won't be for everyone, it is a slow watch, a man trying to cope with the past and mental issues that he can't erase, even though he has achieved huge success with the release of "The River". Probably a movie more for the Springsteen fan, but so well acted it's well worth a watch for the star quality on show.

4/5

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

 

Inspired by the excellent dvd box set "Video Nasties:The Definitive Guide", I decided to 'dig out' one of the previously banned infamous nasties which had somehow passed me by.I'd seen Cannibal Ferox and Holocaust many years ago, Ferox lives up to it's infamous reputation, gory, grim but great 'fun', Holocaust on the other hand is also gory, incredibly grim, but also a very well made horror movie of it's time, you'll feel the need for a shower after watching this slice of Italian sleeze.

So how does 'Cannibal Apocalypse 'size up?

Well we have the usual ingredients of an Italian shlocker, crap American actors, truly dreadful acting, appalling dialogue, but sadly the gore count is surprisingly low and I'm struggling to see what offended the authorities so much with this flick, a few people get bitten, there are a couple of stand out gore moments but it must be said theses are few and far between and the film has been now readily to buy for some time now....though I wouldn't waste the time or money.

2/5

12/12/12/ (2012)

A woman gives birth, during the birth the baby kills the Surgeon and Nurse, then things get even sillier....

Quite simply this is without doubt one of the most hilariously awful films I have ever seen!!!

The 'acting', 'plot' and 'special effects' ( I use these terms very loosely) are not just B-movie but Z-movie, so atrocious are they.The whole film is littered with head scratching  plot holes you could fly a 747 through, for example:

• As I said the Surgeon and Nurse die during the birth of the baby, this doesn't seem to bother the mother Veronica (Sara Malakul Lane) as she lies there with her baby, next to Cops and two dead bodies!!
• The Police are called when the parents suspect there is an intruder in their property, a Detective (sucking a lolly pop) turns up literally 20 seconds later!!
• Veronica's husband kills himself by drinking boiling water, she doesn't seem too affected by this either....
• Why does the Detective whilst looking for the intruder pick up a dead rat by its tail, look at it, then put put it down again as if it was a suspect?!
• How has Veronica managed to get a super fit body only 6 days after giving birth?
• Why, when discovering a dead Police Officer outside her house, does Veronica not call 911 but leave the  Detective a voice mail message!?!?! (and why does he not turn up until later in the day?)

The dialogue is hilarious, my favourite being this exchange, Veronica's sister has just showered and is getting dressed, evil baby is 'watching'

Sister-"VERONICA GODDAMIT! Your Baby is a pervert!!"

Veronica-"What??"

Sister-"I was changing and it was watching me!!"

 

The ending is the icing on the turd flavoured cake, the evil baby show his ugly mug, he really does have a face only it's Mother could love...mental!!

 

So are there any plus points?

Well yes.

For starters 'actress' Sara Malakul Lane is super hot, so us guys have some eye candy, but, yes the film is beyond bad, but, it obeys the rules of bad (horror) movies, its truly dreadful. but  most importantly, it's  entertaining for all the wrong reasons and never dull or boring!

1/5 for the movie

4/5 for entertainment value!

Frankenstein's Army (2013)

You just can't go wrong with Zombie Nazi's!

 Russian soldiers are pushing into East Germany during WW2, all they find are a few dead Nazi's, and the twisted remains off what seems to be half Human, half machine 'soldiers', soon though they stumble upon something more terrifying than the Third Reich!

If you've seen the mad trailer  for this movie you'll know what to expect, you're also be pleasantly surprised. For a low budget horror flick by a first time director, Frankensteins' Army has very high production values, good solid acting, great sound FX, good set designs, and the monsters look great!
Each creature is original, like a mash of Nazi Cenobites from the mind of HR Geiger and Guillermo Tel Torro, drills, knives or guns for hands, real nightmare stuff. The found footage POV works a treat, adding to the films sense of chaos, terror and dread, like a viewing a 1st person shoot 'em up on a high end console. and who can not dislike a movie that features a human robot that resembles the love child of Dusty Bin, R2D2 and a seriously twisted mind!

4/5

Mission To Lars (2013)

 

Tom Spice has Fragile X Syndrome, a kind of autism and the most common form of an inherited learning disability, he is also a massive fan of Metallica, and drummer Lars Ulrich in particular, his brother and sister Will and Kate make it their promise to get Tom to meet his hero and they set off on a trip to the US hitting the Metallica tour, ringing promoters, journalists, anyone to get a one on one with Will and Lars.
A thoroughly heart warming documentary, it won't tell you much about Toms condition, but it will tell you everything about a loving family's bond and what they will do for each other, it's a rollercoaster ride with plenty of ups and downs but ultimately an uplifting finale that you hope for, and an experience that not just fulfilled Toms dream, but also acted as a 'medicine' to his condition giving him new confidence from his adventure.

4/5

**COMING SOON** Deep Water (2026)

 

SHARKS!!

Yes, it's more than likely it will be a cheese fest, it's directed by Renny Harlin who has made the recent appalling 'Strangers' trilogy, and his last decent films were 'Mindhunters' and 'Deep Blue Sea' twenty plus years ago. It does star Ben Kingsley and Aaron Eckhart so we can live in hope and hopefully, just hopefully, for some good nasty Shark action.