Models vs Werewolves (2026)

 With a title like this you know what to expect, dumbass budget horror with excruciating characters and dialogue. It starts off with some lost young lady getting ripped apart by a (pretty good) CGI werewolf, then we're introduced to a gaggle of fit, and thick, characters, think ITV2 broadcasting "

"But most of all, get all the content made."

The "girlies" spend their time in the first third preening their hair, and provided, that dreaded word, "content" with their mobiles. I wasn't expecting much but this was great fun, the CGI as I said is top notch, the blood and guts flows like nobody's business with some great graphic kills. The dumb dialogue is played for fun, all Gen X dumbness, talking about planning to watch a 90's film "I love black and white movies", 

"I miss my phone, I can't watch this movie anymore without it" 

Horror legend Dee Wallace ('ET' 'The Howling', 'Cujo') turns up for good measure  and Alexa Reddy as Nelly (below left) looks like an AI (in a good way) 20 year old Anne Hathaway!!

4/5

Animals (2026)

 

I've always been a fan of Ben Afflick, a great solid actor but a guy who has shown his metal when it come's to directing, 'The Town' and 'Gone Baby Gone' are two classics so this one I was looking forward to, and it doesn't disappoint. Affleck as usual is superb and you get the bonus of the awesome Gillian Anderson playing her creepy sinister best. An enthralling story, got to admit his Wife was an annoying narcissist of a character, dump her! But  a solid entertaining Netflik ,um, flick, and well worth a watch.

 "get your popcorn, and your favourite beverage....and enjoy!"

4/5

Fall 2:Dead Point (2026)

 

I've got to admit the original 'Fall' movie from a few years ago was ok, problem was that the two character's were so annoying you just wanted them to plummet to the ground, as opposed to fall! So a sequel was announced and I have to admit I was looking forward to it and it's certainly great entertainment. The premise is slightly ludicrous, the surviving sister decides the best way to get over her dead sister whilst during a dangerous activity was to do another one! The film looks great, the CGI is really good, it's entertaining fun, I missed it on the big screen which was a pity, but it still looks great, some nice twists, daft yes, worth a watch, oh yes.

4/5

Pinocchio Unstrung (2026)

 'Pinocchio Unstrung' is a beautifully shot and lit slice of British grit, dripping with an all-round creepiness that gets under your skin. The stop-motion effects are fantastic, giving the film a wonderfully old-school, tactile feel. It’s incredibly dark, sinister and genuinely nasty, with a distinctly grimy 1980s/1990s atmosphere that makes everything feel even more unsettling." I haven't got a Penis" The kills wouldn’t look out of place in 'Final Destination', delivering some spectacularly brutal moments. There’s a deliciously mean-spirited streak running throughout, and the combination of eerie visuals, gruesome deaths and twisted fairy-tale imagery makes this one seriously creepy experience. Absolutely horrible—in the best possible way. An totally unexpected delight.

4/5

The Outwaters (2022)

 

This complete waste of time spends its first hour dragging its feet through a desert of non‑events: a painfully slow start, characters with all the charisma of damp cardboard, and dialogue so sparse it may as well have been left on the cutting‑room floor. When finally something does happen , it’s clear the director is a devoted fan of 'The Blair Witch Project' ,cue endless screaming in pitch black darkness,  even more disorienting camera work, and a "plot" so non existent you keep waiting for a clever twist to justify the confusion. Instead, the film’s big “payoff” is a man slicing off his own knob and stumbling away disemboweled into the desert.

Utter garbage.

1/5

Ice Cream Man (2026)

 It's gotta be said I've always been a fan of Eli Roth, he's directed some great gruesome, grisly horror in the past decade or so. Who can for get the 'Hostel' movies (which brought us the torture porn genre) , 'Green Inferno' (cannibals!) the more recent quality slasher 'Thanksgiving' and also his contribution to the awesome horror series 'Eli Roth's History Of Horror' so this was really looking forward to, and then the reviews started, and pretty negative they were too. Fcuk them! this is great delicious gruesome daftness. Really violent with loads of head splitting, body mashing madness! Great entertainment from start to finish for horror and gore hounds.

4/5

Landmine Goes Click (2015)

 

Christ on a motorbike, you want grim? watch this. "Rated" by the excellent youtuber Rickysixsixsix this doesn't get grimmer. This is exploitation cinema at it's nastiness. Three friends go on a hiking holiday in Georgia, one of the guys has cheated on the others girlfriend, and he decides to extract extreme revenge, this is only the beginning.... A local comes to 'help' then things get far worse with a quite shocking scene, the revenge extracted is viscous and calculated with a brutal finale. Films like this are out to shock you to the core and this one doesn't mess around 

4.5/5 

 

Resident Evil (2026)

 

I've never been interested in the 'Resident Evil' franchise, on the whole video games adapted to the a movie tend to be crap on the whole, but this one drew my attention, why? well it's directed by Zach Cregger who brought us the excellent 'Barbarians' from a few years ago and my movie of 2025 'Weapons' so my tail was in the air for this!

It has to be said the first third is a mixed bag, quite slowly paced, the movie does come across as watching a video game, and then bang! It goes coco-bananas, very reminiscent of the classic 'The Cabin In The Woods', monsters going bonkers, blood and guts fling around the screen, a quite insane finale and great fun!

4/5

The Great Ecstasy Of Robert Carmichael (2005)

 

The Ecstasy of Robert Carmichael is a bleak, slow‑burn descent into small‑town nihilism that patiently tightens the screws before unleashing one of the most shocking final thirds in modern British cinema. Its early stretches feel almost mundane — drifting teens, simmering resentment, a community quietly rotting from the inside — but that lethargic pace is deliberate, lulling you into a grim, grey normality. When the film finally snaps, it does so with horrifying force. The brutality of the closing act is still notorious, containing scenes so stark and distressing they remain among the most extreme ever put to screen in the UK. The finale, in particular, is an unforgettable gut‑punch: grim, uncompromising, and designed to leave you rattled long after the credits roll. It’s a difficult watch, but its commitment to depicting the consequences of violence with unflinching severity gives it a disturbing, lingering power. Not one for everyone but a must watch for it's unflinching brutality, one recommended by the brilliant youtuber Rickysixsixsix

4.5/5

"Shocktober 2026" is coming!!!!!!!!!

 

Coyote vs Acme (2026)

 Got to admit as a kid I loved Wile E Coyote trying to outfox that irritating little bird, great colourful slap stick fun. So now, after all these years Mr Coyote, is taking ACME to court, why? well their product doesn't work! This is great fun, it looks like a cartoon mixed with live action, shades of the classic 'Roger Rabbit' all those years, decades ago. John Cena is always a good watch and he doesn't disappoint as the conniving Lawyer, Wile E is all expressions, utterly adorable throughout, loads of digs at corperate greed (and some sly digs at MAGA)  top entertainment for young and old, and your thoughts on Roadrunner will also make a drastic change!

4.5/5

Just Play Dead (2026)

 This on paper had a lot going for it on paper, Samuel L Jackson and the sultry sexiness of Eva Green, but turns out to be an absolute slog to view from start to finish. An uninteresting crime caper, a Temu 'Pulp Fiction' that is totally unengaging even with the merit's of Eva Green on display, even she looks bored in this low rent flick, with Jackson just hamming it up as Samuel L Jackson. Instantly forgettable except for Eva's low cut dresses!!

2/5

Pinocchio-Unstrung (2026)

I was not expecting this, a vicious little gem, a low‑budget horror that punches far above its weight. The brutality is relentless, turning a familiar fairy tale into a grisly descent filled with snapped limbs, splintered flesh, and genuinely shocking set pieces. What really sells it, though, are the beautiful special effects. For a movie working with limited cash, it looks great, grisly and polished, every frame dripping with atmosphere and twisted imagination....and gore!!! It’s rough, savage, nasty,
and surprisingly artful, proving that smart filmmaking can outshine any budget.

4.5/5

Whalefall (2026) Trailer SWALLOWED BY A WHALE!!

 

Yes coming in October, sorry, SHOCKTOBER!, Josh Brolin is swallowed by a Whale and has just 60 minutes of air to escape old Moby Dick, well not actually Moby Dick, but you get the jist, sounds bonkers, bring it on!!

Released 14th October 2026

Stars Josh Brolin, Jane Levy, Mr Whale 

Tyrannosaur (2011)

 

When a film is directed by Paddy Considine ('Dead Man's Shoes') and stars the awesome talents of Olivia Colman, Eddie Marson and Peter Mullen (check out the fabulous bitter sweet comedy 'Mum') the signs look good for a quality Brit flick and this does not disappoint. Brutal and frank, this is a disturbing real life drama story, domestic abuse, alcoholism, regret, this is brutal and hard hitting. The performances are outstanding as you would expect, easily one of the great films in recent years and one that is hard to watch at times, is essential viewing. True Real life horror is more terrifying than any 'Scream' movie.

4.5/5

Mutiny (2026)

 

STATHAM!.....plays Jason Statham.

Yes any movie this guys in I'm "buying a ticket", though I didn't have to because Amazon Prime in the USA decided to put this on their platform, realised this was a mistake, removed it a few hours later, but not before the lovely Pirate's (not Captain Pugwash) had got their paws on it, and bang, it was on the torrent sites! Cheers Amazon, and boy did I enjoy this, as all Stath's movies it's more of the same but this is top draw 90's style action. Stath's snarls, punches, and shoots his way through 90 minutes of fun, it's cliched, it's daft, this is why we love these movies. It's 'Die Hard' on a Cargo ship, crack open a can, get out the sweets, put your feet up and enjoy!!

4/5

Ann Droid (BBC Tv Series) 2026

 

TV series of the year for me, if you haven't watched it get on I-Player now, we did and binged it in three days, could have done it in one but wanted to savor the quality. It's very funny, Diane Morgan is fantastic as the dead pan droid, the always brilliant Sue Johnson brings heart felt emotion to counter the absurd comedy, with the huge heartbreak at the loss of her Husband and the sense of loneliness for the future. The supporting Characters are great too, with a heads up to Kathryn Hunter as Eileen the outspoken no nonsense manager of the local charity shop, and Danny John-Jules (yes The Cat from 'Red Dwarf') as the taxi driver who shall we say, likes the odd tipple.

There just has to be a second series.

4.5/5

The End Of Oak Street (2026)

 

This is what we want in the Summer. A no brainer bit of action and monster's (NOT MONSTERS...DINOSAURS!) Starring the bloke  from the shit Star Wars movies, some very likeable  kids, and the ever lovely Anne Hathaway, this is great fun. The CGI is top notch (take note Spielberg) the Dino's look great, running around chomping on people, it's daft fun throughout. Yes it does lose steam half way   through but then kicks into gear with a shock Dino munch moment,  but roars along, even managing to throw in some Dino sex! The ending is very Disney+ it must be said, slightly disappointing, but I still had a great time throughout.

4/5

Soulm8te (2026)

 

There's been quite a string of when Androids go bad movies in the past few years, 'M3gan' (2022) was a good laugh but could have done with ramping the violence up though. It's sequel 'M3gan 2.0' last year was a disaster, it really didn't know what genre it wanted to be, straying into a comedy sc-fi!!! but the cream of the crop was the excellent dark, gripping 'Companion' also from last year with a dark brilliant performance from Sophie Thatcher. So here we are with a new release, a tech firm employee tests a new female "soulmate" android played by Lily Sullivan, and who can blame him when he opens the box! I have to admit my expectations weren't very high for this release but it turned out to be a very enjoyable watch. Well acted, the film never drags it's heels, Lily is very easy on the eye it must be said! and there's a good splash of unexpected ultra-violence, and a nice neat payoff at the movies finale.

4/5

Evil Dead Burn (2026)

 

This is the third in the new 'Evil Dead' revamp trilogy and of course I was looking forward to it. The reboot was delicious and nasty, probably the best of the whole franchise in my opinion, 'Rise' a few years ago was solid if not spectacular, so how does this this one bare up....it's bloody, boy is it bloody (good) From the off it hits 5th gear with the gore and doesn't relent for its 1hr 50 mins run time which flies by. Relentlessly brutal and gory for pretty much it's entire runtime it never lets up, great practical effects throughout, the story is a bit lacking and the final CGI effects not fitting in with the rest of the movie but this is great gory fun, and another great 2026 horror movie to add to the ever growing list of recommendations.

4/5

The Chair (2023) short film

 

When I mean short, I mean short, running just 25 minutes long, and this is another short film from 'Obsession' Curry Barker director Curry Barker, and obviously not in the same league as that full feature, or the 60 minute flick 'Milk And Serial' it's still work a look. Again, like those two films, it's very twisted, with some off the wall scenes, and a few good shock one's thrown in too. The ending is, it must be said, very strange, but it's still worth viewing on your Sofa, not that chair what ever you do!!!

4/5

Milk And Serial (2024)

 

Curry Barker is famous for directing the masterpiece 'Obsession' this year, but only two years ago he directed and starred in a 1hr short film released on Youtube for free, this  was the sign of a very young talented man. This brilliant piece of film-making tells the story of a guy who pranks people to boost his Youtube channel, I when I say "pranks", he goes all out! Made on a miniscule budget, the production is top notch, Barker who plays the lead 'Curry' is not just an awesome film maker but a top notch actor, as are his cast of unknowns. An outstanding film, sinister and twisted, Barkers to the camera monologue's are some of the highlights, and there are many of this 60 minute film. Outstanding.

4.5/5

Link 

Dead Lover (2025)

 

I'd never heard of this flick until it was mentioned by a youtuber, to say it's bonkers is an understatement. From the very off I was scratching my head thinking "what the f**k? It's in the old 4:5 screen ration, grainy picture, it looks like an old VHS tape from the 80's. The plot is mental, a female gravedigger falls in love, her partner drowns in a boating accident, his finger is all that is found of his body, so the Woman decides to do a "Frankenstein" and grow him, using the finger, yes she puts the finger in a plant pot and uses spells to resurrect him! The Gravedigger is played by Grace Glowicki with a totally insane performance, very manic facial mannerisms, very funny dialogue, you'll either love it or hate it, get through the total insanity and I had to admit it was a scream!

4/5

Satan's Little Helper (2004)

 

This is a bit of a cult classic, but for all the wrong reasons! I wasn't really expecting to be scared quite frankly. Boy was I right, as a horror film this is a complete disaster, as an unintentional comedy this was absolute blast.

The story, if you can call it that, it's Hallows Eve, a serial killer wearing a Satanic mask is murdering the locals, unwittingly a young lad becomes his accomplice to the murders.
The film is really quite mad, mental even, Amanda Plummer as the Mother I'm sure was drunk on set, so bad is her performance, the acting ability of the killer, known as Satan Man, consists of being able to walk and point.
The film does have some intentionally amusing moments such as a guy being attacked by a shopping cart and kudos must go to Katheryn Winnick and the real star of the film, her very impressive cleavage.

This film deserves one star, so bad it is, but it's so bad its good, and I was never bored during it's entire running time, so it would deserve 5 stars!!

The War Zone (1999)

 

This movie was "recommended" by the brilliant youtuber spooky astronauts as one of the most disturbing film's ever and boy she's not joking. A film staring the awesome Ray Winstone and directed by Tim Roth is a must watch for starters, this film though, is a very tough watch, utterly brilliant, and the subject matter utterly vile. I'm a massive horror fan, but this you will know has happened in real life and I won't describe the subject matter.
Winstone of course is awesome portraying this vile "father", but Lara Belmont as Jessie his daughter is just off the scale. A scene when she is sat at a table with her brother, crying, broken beyond believe, is just unimaginable, how someone would do this do you daughter you cannot imagine. A masterclass in film making but one of the toughest movies to watch I have ever viewed,

5/5

Passenger (2026)

 

A couple witness a fatal car crash then find them pursued by supernatural stalker....This movie got some good press on release a few months ago and it's deserved. The film kicks off from the start with the eerie evil premise, and slowly builds throughout. Small shades of a 'Final Destination' movie when the couple release their "fate". The demon is suitably creepy with only fleeting flash frames building to an explosive climax. I have to admit I would have preferred a "different" finale but this is a satisfying small budget horror release and well worth seeking out.

4/5

Best "new" movies June 2026

 

What with the World Cup taking most of my time this month, the movie count has gone down, but still some belters I must recommend.

1.Sheep Detectives 2026 (just an absolute joy)

2. Iron Maiden Burning Ambition 2026 (not a massive Maiden fan but this is a great documentary)

3. Elephant 2003

4. The Bay 2012

5. Disclosure Day 2026 (slightly disappointing it must be said, and at times cliched)

(click the links for full reviews)

Hungry (2026)

 

Well apologies for the lack of content in the past few weeks but the World Cup has been happening if you hadn't noticed, this one I watched a few good weeks ago, so let's get this blog back on track. 'Hungry', yes in Hungry Hippo, and I gotta admit I was looking forward to a cheesy "monster" movie but what a let down. This film is a slog: wooden acting, grating characters, and zero scares. The supposed killer hippo doesn’t even appear until halfway through, killing any suspense. While the special effects are passable, that’s the only redeeming quality in an otherwise tedious, uninspired, and frustratingly dull experience with zero scares, tension or low budget "fun". Avoid, like a real Hippo.

1.5/5

Mother's Pride (2026)

 

" The feel good film of the year", " A British comedy classic" are always warning signs for a movie, especially when the quotes aren't attributed to the source, usually garbage such as 'Hello' magazine, so the bar for this one are set low....here we go! Well the good news first of all, it stars some Brit comedy regulars, Martin Clunes, Mark Addy, Josie Lawrence, but the movie is the epitome of how Yanks think England is, all frothing  pipes, Mrs Miggins pie shop, and everyone's middleclass. It's the team behind the lightweight 'Fishermans Friends from a few years ago, your Mum or Gran will like it, all Dad gags etc, you know where this film is going. If the film was a Pub it would be serving  weak lager, bags of peanuts stapled to an A4 pic of a lady in a bikini (remember those!) and "real ales" in proper pint jugs and inoffensive food.

2/5

Jennifer's Body (2009)

 

This is a rewatch of a movie I can vaguely remember, all I remember is Megan Fox for the obvious reasons but also for it's dark comedic tones, and its still  a wicked delight on rewatch. Its dark, black‑comedy tone meshes brilliantly with the film’s stylish visual violence and ever‑creepy atmosphere. Megan Fox’s sexiness fuels the absolute unhinged chaos, perfectly counterbalanced by Amanda Seyfried’s brilliant, grounded performance. The result is a sharp, seductive nasty horror‑comedy that still bites hard and entertains effortlessly

4/5

Jan-June 2026 Stinkers!!

 It's got to be said 2026 has been a really good year in the movie world, especially in the Horror sector, but of course there are the Turkeys, not many so far, but here's my pick, all equally dull, inept or boring.

*Hokum (hogwash)

*Whistle (these two ^^ were just bang average and one's I really had high hopes for)

*Thrash (two bad sharks movies in a year!!!)

*Deep Water (now this is utter garbage but worth a watch just to see how inept the entire movie is)

*Apex (just bizarrely disjointed)

Deep Water (2026)

 

Where do I begin with this garbage? A plane load of idiots crash land in the Ocean, argue a lot then get attacked by the most angry sharks ever. It stars Sir Ben Kingsley and Aaron Eckhart, you expect the latter to be in trash like this but Ben Kingsley?? The film is pure 'Airplane', without the intentional (brilliant) comedy, the CGI just appalling, especially the second half when the setting is in broad daylight, Sharks flying out of the water, teeth bared, stuff that would look bad in a PS5 "cut scene". There's a quite bizarre scene where some bloke and his hot new Wife go for the "mile high club", whilst then very young daughter is just left in her seat, you see them again briefly, then that's it. The kid doesn't give two sh*ts for the entirety of the rest of the movie, just quite bizarre. Eckhart speaks in the same monotone pitch for the entire movie, but all things considered, I thoroughly enjoyed this car (plane) crash of a movie for all the wrong reasons!!

Still though, artistically, it's a 2/5

Best Horror of 2026 Jan-June.

So here we are, it's half time in the movie world and it's been a belter for the horror genre, he's my rough top10, the top 3 are solid.

1.Obsession (a no brainer, just awesome, out on VOD soon and hoping for the uncut version with the full on "steering wheel" moment, how can that be more shocking and brutal?!)

2.Send Help (an absolute riot from start to finish)

3.Over Your Dead Body ( Samara Weaving and Jason Segal just awesome)

4.They Will Kill You

5.Lee Cronin's The Mummy (the surprise of the year)

6.Untitled Home Invasion (a "small" release to seek out)

7.Primate (mental monkey!)

8.Cold Storage (again, great comibnation of horror and tongue firmly in bloody cheeks)

9.Ready Or Not 2 (more of the same but great entertainment)

10. Anaconda (under-rated, great fun with some nice gore)

Elephant (2003)

Based on the Columbine mass shooting this is a brutal bleak drama packed  full of impending dread. The film is only 80 minutes long but packs in a almost poker faced build up to the terrible disgusting event's that will unfold. A damning indictment of US gun culture, just buying  a semi-automatic machine gun and getting it delivered to your door like buying a KFC from Uber Eats. The final 15 minutes are cold, brutal, and unflinching, innocent people, teachers, pupils gunned down in cold blood to the very final final scene. Absolute quality, and grim, something that seems to be the norm in a country that really needs to look at it's ridiculous gun laws, or lack of them, in a very dark mirror.

4.5/5

Disclosure Day (2026)

 It's a Spielberg Sci-Fi "epic", in other words it's two and a half hours long, as opposed to 1hr 20 mins of in and out action. So, the good points, the cast are excellent, Emily Blunt is superb, as of course Colin Firth and Josh O'Connor, and it was really cool to see Eve Hewson (from the superb TV drama 'Bad Sisters') given a big role in such a massive release. Right, the minus points, its running time is slow, typical Sci-Fi flim flam dialogue, the AI is quite frankly embarrassingly bad at times. There's a scene involving a Stag and a Fox, we're I thought it was a Christmas movie, borderline animation, I half expected to hear "Walking In The Air" below out and 'The Snowman' to fly over the trees! This is the man that gave us Dinosaur's that LOOKED like Dinosaur's might have been 30 years ago in 'Jurassic Park', not this sloppy lazy AI slop. As for the "big reveal", well just google "Alien 1950's" and that's what you get, 7 foot tall, big head and eyes, long skinny body parts, and again, average SFX. There's also a backstory of WW3 kicking off which is briefly touched, the Russians and North Koreans are kicking off, there's scenes of panic buying, um that's it?? And when the film ends, the big reveal/finale? .....ummm

3/5

Iron Maiden: Burning Ambition (2026)

 

Now I LOVE my metal, and Maiden when they burst onto the scene back in 1980 were just great, their debut was a classic, follow up 'Killers' wasn't bad, then along came Bruce Dickenson and the band were transformed, 'Number Of The Beast' again a classic, but after that I was more into other rock, be it the LA scene and the attitude of bands such as Metallica, Anthrax and Slayer. I only saw them once head-lining  back in the 80's, and after that pretty much ignored them for two decades. It must be said though I love a rock documentary so was quite looking forward to this film, the story of the band on their 50th (!) anniversary. And this delivers, in buckets. Starting from their early days (obviously) it charts the bands development from an up and coming new 80s metal band to one of the biggest rock bands of all time. In depth, the ups and downs are all covered with a mass of fellow musical artists contributing, Scott Ian, Tom Morello, Lars Ulrich, Tom Morello, Chuck D, plus some you might not expect, the awesome Javier Bardem (a massive Metal fan) and a nice cameo from Sooty and Sweep! Absolute quality.

5/5

Sheep Detectives (2026)

 

A kind caring Farmer is found murdered, it's up to his flock of Sheep to solve the murder, who was responsible for this baaaaaa-d crime? This is just a wonderful comedy, so, very much from the Aardman style of quaint humour, just wonderful. A great cast "supports" our wooly detectives, Hugh Jackman as the Farmer 'George' for starters and add the quint essential "Englishness" of Emma Thompson, plus the cast voicing the sheep is top notch, Bryan Cranston, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Chris O'Dowd and Patrick Stewart amongst the talent on offer. A film for not just kids but one that adults will enjoy equally.

4.5/5

Chum (2026)

 

Last years 'Dangerous Animals' was just a great Shark movie, gory fun and twisted, so when I heard about this movie 'Pedigree Chum', sorry that's dog food, 'Chum' my tail was wagging, idiots go on a yacht excursion in the Med, but become hunted by a Shark and a psychotic killer, aren't all killers psycho's? anyways, this got a theatrical and VOD release on the same day (never a good sign) so how is it, do we get tension, a cool shark, and hopefully, hopefully some arms and legs getting torn off. A killer shark and Alice Eve in a swimsuit, what can go wrong? well just about everything you can imagine. The characters are turgid, the AI sharks are just laughable, the dialogue spoken like it's been dubbed into English, Alice Eve must have some bills to pay to star in this Turkey alongside a bunch of nobodies, in a film you'd expect to see on the Sci-Fi channel...

2/5 (extra point for the blatant bikini scenes)

Mike Bassett: England Manager (2001)

 

Well the World Cup just around the corner, deportation's, ESTA's refused, away fans banned, players searched the moment they get off the plane, so let's cheer ourselves up with some solid cheesy comedy from 25 years ago when I'm sure life was simpler. Yes it's a rewatch and it's just as silly as I remember, but who can't enjoy some nonsense like this? You've got Ricky Tomlinson as the hapless but loveable Bassett, ably supported by Bradley Walsh, Alison Redman, Phil Jupitus, and a load of cameos including  Brazilian legends Pele and Ronaldo (!), Keith Allen, Atomic Kitten for some brief eye candy, oh an Gaby Logan who looks like she's 20 years old, I didn't recognize her at first! The movie pretty much pans out as you'd expect but sometimes this is what you want to see for a few sh*ts and giggles.

3.5/5

The Bay (2012)

 

I'm shocked and disappointed with myself that until last week I'd never even heard of this film until it was recommended by a youtuber a few weeks ago. The biggest surprise is that it's directed by the much respected Barry Levinson who has made some absolute bangers in the past few decades, 'Diner' and 'Tin Men' are two of my all time favourite movies, and he followed these up with such classics as 'Sleepers', 'Rain Man' and 'Good Morning Vietnam' !! This is is first foray into the horror "genre", but yes there are horror moments (and they are well gruesome) but this much more to this movie. It's a found footage style documentary loosely based on true events in the USA when a virus breaks out in the small town of Chesapeake Bay. A mix of grainy footage, interviews and striking moments of gore, this is quality film making as you would hope to get from such an auteur as Levinson and well worth a watch.

4.5/5

Hostel 3 (2011)

 

So here it is on my trawl though the 'Hostel' series, which I must say I've quite enjoyed, obviously for the wrong reasons! This one isn't directed by Eli Roth though, but Scott Spiegel who is most famous, well for hard core horror fans, for the cult classic 80's VHS slasher 'Intruder'. So, the final episode flips the "action" to a bachelor party in Vegas ("baby") it's 'The Hangover' with no Tiger, and yes the vast majority of the characters are obnoxious jocks, especially one guy who's main vocabulary seems to be the words "Pussy!" and "F*ck" But the good news is they get sliced and diced as you would hope, and the gore is plentiful, especially a rip roaring face ripping, with a cool, if slightly obvious twist ending. Not quite up to the same "standard" as the previous films, but bloody and entertaining trash nether the less.

3.5/5

Hokum (2026)

 

So here it is, one of the films I've been looking forward to in this already great year for horror. An author, aka annoying Yank, travels to Ireland to scatter his Mothers, staying in an apparently haunted Hotel. "Creepy" and "a fear of dread" said the critics, really? It's never creepy, it's dull, laborious, the main character utterly obnoxious, there's a few jump scenes, if you can call them that, how this garbage got such critical acclaim is beyond me, a borderline turkey of a film, 'Hokum'? Hogwash more like.

2/5

Hostel 2 (2017)

 

Well after rewatch of the first film I thought I'd plow through the series, so it's part 2 from 2017, and is it more of the same? Oh yes, and more. It's pretty much the same scenario, some Yanks go off to dodgy parts of Europe (" there's no safe City's in Europe!") and end up having a pretty shit time. It's gore galore, it's crass, the depiction of Eastern Europe is pure MAGA, kids will kill you for bubblegum again, and rich people will kill and torture for money, again MAGA (hello Jeffery and the orange rapist) The "final girl" is awesome kicking, sorry, slicing and stabbing her way though the final act (and a wicked dick stabbing)  grimy and grubby, I loved it.

4/5

Exit 8 (2026)

 

A Man is trapped in an endless Japanese subway passage searching for the exit, 'Exit 8' he must remember everything he see's, any small change will send him back to the start. Well that's pretty much it, the film is adapted from a video game, the type of game that have ne shouting at the screen pretty soon and hitting the off button, and it's got to be said the film is a pretty slow dull watch. Not much breaks up the monotony of the "plot", only a few scenes randomly involving some mice with human ears and eyes grafted onto the them, blood pouring down a corrider, all very 'The Shining', and that's pretty much it really.

2.5/5

Hostel (2005)

 

'Hostel' is infamous for many reasons not least as it was what became the start of the so called "torture porn" genre, so I though I'd give it a rewatch 20+ years after it's release. Two young American back packers go on a European trip in search of "good time's", and they get it in the first half of the movie that's for sure! This film really is a tale of two stories, the first half they're partying, hooking up with good looking ladies (how I don't know, talk a bout punching above the weight, and then things go Pete Tong, seriously. One of the back packers apparently has checked out of the hotel, and in searching for his mate is druged, kidnapped....then the "fun" starts. It's a well made and well acted movie, plenty of gore as you might expect, and it must be said is a pretty good solid slice of horror, the copy I "got" featured the alternative ending which is well worth seeking out, something I' m pretty sure I hadn't seen viewing all those years ago.

4/5

Movies Of The Month May 2026

A massive month for great new movies, all released in 2026!!! (and all horror!!)

1.Obsession (one of the movies of 2026)

2.Over Your Dead Body (an absolute blood filled blast)

3.Lee Cronin's Mummy (the surprise of the year)

4.Normal (Bob does what Bob does best)

5.Killing Mary Sue (crazy fun)

And the good news is coming very soon are 'Passenger' and 'Backrooms' (which I plan to see next week)

(and it must be a good month if the excellent documentary 'The Crash' doesn't make the top 5)

Fuze (2026)

 

An unexploded bomb is found in central London, during the chaos of an evacuation a crew of wrong 'uns exploit the chaos to crack a bank vault. It's got to be said I'd never heard of this movie, but looking at the positive reviews, I thought I'd give it a go and it doesn't disappoint. A film which you genuinly don't know what's a round the corner, the actual robbery makes up the first third of the film, but then we get the usual back stabbing but there are so many twists, this makes it a thoroughly entertaining flick with a good fresh cast.

4.5/5

Dead Man's Wire (2025)

Now 'Dog Day Afternoon' from 1975 starring Al Pacino and John Cazale is a classic, based on the true story of a bank robbery that goes wrong, and this flick is a kind of remake? The story is different though, Bill Skarsgard stars as a desperate man who wants justice from the bank he believed ripped him off in a property deal, he takes the son of the Bank's CEO (played brilliantly by Al Pacino) wires a shotgun around his neck, demanding compensation, but most of all, an apology, something Pacino's character refuses! It's a quality film throughout, the 70's is brilliantly recreated, everything's beige, smoke fills every room, Skarsgard is brilliant, as is Dacre Montgomery as the unfortunate kidnap victim, and of course Pacino (though he sadly is only in a few scenes) This is out on Sky Movies, I'd never heard of it until seeing it advertised, and it's well worth checking out.

4/5